Tag: mindset

let it go

~ Gillie ~ 7 Comments

You would have to be fully certified hermit not to know at least a couple of lines of “that” song from Frozen.  Personally, I think “Would you like to build a snowman” is considerably more poignant and reminds me of “Slipping through  my fingers” by Abba.  Moments promised and lost forever.

However, this is not a maudlin blog.  I am not one for living in the past!

But as hoarders, isn’t that just what we do?  I was introduced to Thich Nhat Hanh some ten years ago.  Today, at last, the concept of mindfulness is becoming more commonplace.  From The Miracle of Mindfulness I moved on to many other books (list of links at the bottom of this post) and I have benefited hugely.  I have long ago lost any need to bear a grudge, to cry over spilt milk or to worry about what if. I have let go of past hurts and forgiven those  who hurt me.  The last was the hardest.

I have kept a diary on and off since I was about 6.  At today’s date that is 44 years of diary keeping.  The early stuff is sweet.  The teen years are embarrassing.  The early twenties are painful.  We have a lovely big wood burning stove.  I took my diaries, took out the childhood ones, those of my year living in the Transkei and offered the rest to the fire.

Why?  Because they were, for the most part, a cathartic exercise of a young woman who was hurt and upset.  The act of writing them was helpful at the time but by keeping them I was holding on to that pain.  Every time I went into the study I knew they were there.  Remember Eyeore and the black rain cloud

eyeore

That was how it felt.

So I burned them.  And that rain cloud disappeared.

How many personal rain clouds are you hoarding?

Some books I have found helpful

 

decluttering changed my life

~ Gillie ~ 19 Comments

One year on.  Remember this?

 

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and this?

 

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Well now it looks like this.

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In fact that is a mere fraction of what has gone.  As I write I have six more bags to go to charity and the Singers have been dispatching some of the Boss’s clothes on Ebay.  So what next?  What have I learned?

What next?  Well there is still a huge amount to go.  The Boss is slowly working through his wardrobe and I will have to work at his pace.  The study still has far too much in it and there are a few black holes around the house to which we have been turning a blind eye.  The videos and CDs are a case in point.  But as the house has emptied we have begun to turn our attention towards the garden.  I have plans to turn our garden into a mainly physic garden where all the plants are either medicinal, edible or have other practical uses.  Meanwhile the Boss has finally got on top of the meadow and is planning the wild flower border around it.  Currently it’s mainly vetch, poppies and cornflowers, but give him time.

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What have I learned?  How long do you want me to go on?

Don’t give  up  Like learning to play a musical instrument it is hard at first.  You can see other people knocking off a snazzy sounding concerto whilst you are still struggling to coordinate your left and right hand sufficiently to get three notes out in the correct order.  But everybody has to start at the beginning.  Everybody has to practice, practice, practice before they are a master of the art.  Decluttering is no different.

It does become easier.  Trust me, you will come to a point when you are instinctively picking up things that you don’t want or need and putting them in the charity bag or recycling.

Let go of guilt.  Just because it was a gift or a family heirloom does not mean that you have to keep it.  Offer the latter to somebody else in the family to caretake if it will cause a ruction.  So you bought a dress and have never worn it but keep it because you feel you must.  Don’t.  Let it go.  Sell it on eBay BNWT!

Space is beautiful.  The things you love can shine when they are bordered by space, space in itself is something to love and cherish.

Don’t clutter it up the space.  My entire summer wardrobe fits in less space than my shirts used to take up.  My bookshelves contain books I want to read.  I know every shoe I possess, I no longer open a shoe box and look at the contents with surprise.

As I decluttered my belongings I decluttered my mind.  Now I can’t promise that this is true for everyone or that the two were actually connected.  I suffer from acute  and severe depression, the kind where all is well and suddenly for no apparent reason the lights are all turned off.  I made an active decision after a particularly nasty attack that I was going to think differently.  Thus it is quite possible that  my mind declutter is down to that.  Either way.  This year  I have gone from unsure what to do with my life stay at home mum to published author with a second book in the works; professional tarot reader; workshop facilitator and have plans for a small handmade toiletry collection.  As I decluttered I became more focused.  The things I focussed on were not those that I had expected but I am loving life and have big plans for the future.

Not everyone likes it.  A bit like losing weight and discovering that not all your friends are as keen on the new you.  I have been told all sorts of reasons why “they” can’t do it; why “they” could never let go of books (heaven forbid!) and so forth.  Maybe they really can’t or maybe they are jealous.  Whatever the reason it has nothing to do with me so I shall continue my path.

I have discovered my own style.  As I have let go of things that I didn’t like, need or want I have discovered a style that is mine and I like it.

I have made some amazing friends and some incredible business contacts.  I have discovered crossovers and potential joint projects with people I probably would never have met had I not started, and gone public with this journey.

I have more time.  I can’t explain this one, I still live in the same house, I still have the same family.  Perhaps it is more that I am more mindful of my time, I don’t fritter it away.  As I am only keeping things I cherish I am learning to cherish my time as well.

And finally, I did it because I wanted to.  You have to want to.

 

 

 

 

 

gaussian decluttering

~ Gillie ~ 5 Comments

S to M declutter will be coming soon.  I can’t believe I just typed that 🙂

In the meantime a quick wardrobe update.  The wardrobe has been my main focus of attention since the big stuff went off to auction/charity/skip earlier this month.  The Gin Gan is wonderfully empty and I am really beginning to feel the day to day difference.  I think psychologically even though I had removed so so so much from our house the fact that it was still on site was a big issue for me and I am glad it’s gone.

Living out of one medium sized suitcase for a month focuses the mind and on my return from Australia I was able to take a look at my much depleted wardrobe and  cull another 30%.  This afternoon I had an urge to do a bit more.  It is interesting that once you really get going it is much, much easier to keep going and become more purposeful.

This is what was left after the Singers and Dancer had picked out the few items that they wanted.

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I now have three full bags of clothes in the back of my car ready to be taken to The British Heart Foundation shop in town.  I was talking to a friend today who is at the beginning of her declutttering process.  She is at the overwhelmed stage.  Remember the Gaussian normal distribution bell curve?  It looks like this.

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Ignoring the statistical use of the bell curve and just looking at the shape for a moment and I think it represents our approach to decluttering.  We start with high hopes and approach the issue head on.  Then we realise just how big the job is, how overwhelming it can feel and we are tempted to give up.  Assuming we keeping going then we plough through the really hard times.  The times when we have got rid of the things that were easy to get rid of because we didn’t really want them.  Now we are faced with the things that we don’t need but somehow we still want.  Finally we get to the top and like the helter skelter rider we come racing down because now it is easy, we “get it”, we want to be unburdened.

So wherever you are on the curve, remember there is a helter skelter ride at the end and it is worth it.

 

 

on the final leg

~ Gillie ~ 14 Comments

Back inside again today.  Which shows piss poor planning as it is a lovely day and perfect for clearing out the outbuildings; which we opted to do in the cold and rain.

Having taken another carload of books to Amina we had a look at the heaving bookcases in the Gin Gan and started all over again.  While I sorted through hundreds of books the Boss started packing up the lots for auction.  It was a relief when Mel from the British Heart Foundation rang to arrange to come and pick up his second load.  For that means that by Tuesday evening this pile will have gone.

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And so will this one.

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My father is a bibliophile with a particular interest in wine and racing.  Consquently I have a huge collection of books going back to the early fifties, many first editions.  My job this weekend is to go through the book pile and decide which are worth going to auction and which are probably not.  This was one job I didn’t know how I would cope with.  But it was easier than I thought.  He gave them to me when he moved permanently to the States, he knows I will not read the full set of the Compleat Imbiber for example.  But somebody else will enjoy it as much as he did and it is worth quite a lot of money.  The real eye opener was a cookery book “Lady Maclean’s Cook Book”  Mine is a pristine first edition.  It has been put carefully to one side.

I think we are coming towards the end of the tunnel.  It has taken six months to get where we are now and there is still a lot more we can do.  But right now I am enjoying the space, the feeling of freedom and the great sense of relief to see so much clutter go out of our doors.

Will I ever go back to my old ways?  I think not.  I have noticed that as I move around the house I am instinctively picking things and putting them in the charity pile.  Thus went a pair of glass candlesticks, some towels, a selection of scarves and a pair of boots without even thinking.  Shopping holds little appeal unless it is something I really need or really want.  The former is now discussed and depending on severity of need bought now or put on the rolling shopping list.  The latter is put on my birthday list.  Come my birthday I am fairly sure that I won’t want half the things on there.

Finally, when you remove the clutter from your house and spend hour after hour, day after day, week after week, month after month packing it up and sending it away you get a pretty good sense of where you went wrong.  Things that you bought because you “thought they might be useful”, but never were.  Books you bought because they were beautiful but weren’t interesting enough for you to read or use.  Clothes that you bought because they were fantastic quality, a bargain, but you never really loved.  Knick Knacks collected from junk shops over the years.  Oh, and those infernal storage boxes that you kept having to buy to store all of the above 🙂

Now doesn’t that look good?

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Nice and simple.

the next step

~ Gillie ~ 14 Comments

All the decluttering in the world is not going to have any effect if you don’t stop the stuff coming into your life in the first place.  We’ve all been there: cleared a cupboard or a room and then six months later it has reverted back to type.

Part of the reason for this blog was to encourage transparency and to make me change my mindset.  To think before I bought, to question the actual value of an item.  It has worked to a certain extent, I am certainly far more thoughtful about most purchases whether expensive or from the charity shop.  In fact charity shops used to be one of my downfalls.  Items that I would never have bought new I would happily buy from a charity shop.  I’m not saying that I haven’t had some fantastic buys but just because a dress is only £5 I should buy it.  If I don’t need it I shouldn’t buy it just because it is cheap and/or good value.  It is only good value if I need it.  I was going to insert a picture of a dress that came to mind as I wrote that.  However, said dress went back to the charity shop in the first purge 🙂

So this year I am recording all my expenditure.  Every single last penny.  I would like to see whether the expenditure in various areas matches up to the pleasure we got in those areas.  Groceries are essential, but at the end of the month if I have spent say £200 on groceries and yet we can’t recall more than a handful of lovely  meals then it was not money well spent and we need to work out why.  Our time here on earth is limited as are our funds.  I intend to make sure I get the best out of both of them.

 

why you can’t declutter without a hairbrush

~ Gillie ~ 7 Comments

The decorations are down.  You have finished almost all of the leftovers.  The alarm clock is your new best friend.  And the house is a tip.  There is the little pile of presents you don’t really know where to put.  A pile of chocolates and other “interesting” delicacies that nobody wants to eat.  Worst of all there is all that stuff you hid in cupboards and under beds before Christmas because you hadn’t got the time to sort it out then and you didn’t want it cluttering up the house over the holidays.

So what do you do?  You start decluttering.  You hit IKEA or the Pound Shop for interesting storage ideas that will help you be more organised.  You spend hours on FlyLady (which is excellent btw) and realise that the reason you are in such a mess is that you don’t have the right cleaning tools.  You invest a small fortune on house planners and organisers.  And by the end of the week you are (a) poor (b) knackered (c) the owner of clutter in boxes as opposed to clutter on the floor.

So I introduce you to the essentials for a good house declutter and start to the new year.

Hairbrush

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Do not attempt to declutter in your pyjamas.  I am right there with Flylady on this.  This is a job.  Would you go to work in your onsie?  Get up, get dressed, brush your hair (and tie it up if it is long like mine, it will just keep getting in the way), clean your teeth and address your clutter from a position of organised superiority.  If you feel clean and organised you have already won half the battle.  If you feel grubby and unkempt you are not going to be in the right mindset.  Get the mindset and the body will follow.

Shoes

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You will be taking stuff out to the rubbish, to the compost, to the car.  It is winter (well for half of us anyway) it is wet, cold and even snowy.  You do not want to be wearing slippers.  Also see above (1) above.

Once you are up, dressed, shiney and ready to go you can assemble the following.  I’ll take you through  each item day by day over the next week.  I am not going to go over the sorting process (keep, bin, donate) you are all grown up.  You know how to actually do the decluttering, you do not need a book or a blog to tell you what to do.  This is about how to keep you on the ball, how to change little things in your daily life that can help all that stuff getting through the door in the first place

  • A house walk
  • The fridge and larder
  • 12 dividers and a simple ring binder
  • A blackboard
  • A small box
  • An apron

See you later 🙂

 

 

 

moving the mindset

~ Gillie ~ 4 Comments

iceberg-diagram

With thanks to www.mindset.ws for the excellent diagram above.

It’s moved, really quite substantially.  Not my mind (though it shudders and shakes on a regular basis as I try to dredge up some vital piece of information such as the preterite tense of ir, I remembered eventually it’s fui, fuiste etc.) but my mindset.  My mindset is becoming more minimalist.   I have a long way to go before I have a house that looks like a John Pawson , if indeed I actually want one.  However, I now find myself wandering around the rooms picking up things and questioning their right to be there.

Today I removed a salt and pepper set, 3 hurricane lamps a (very neat but unnecessary) pile of magazines, a vase and a soap dish.  I wasn’t actually decluttering I was making the beds, doing the laundry and getting ready for the WI meeting. Nonetheless I automatically decluttered, I did it without thinking.  My eyes were seeing things from a different angle to before.

I first noticed the difference when we were in Glasgow and although I was happy to potter around the shops it was mainly because I was enjoying reliving my youth (well my twenties!) rather than the shopping itself. In terms of purchases I bought one pair of shoes £15 (approximate original value from Bally £350) almost unworn, complete with wooden shoe trees to replace a pair that I threw out.  Hardly profligate and wanton consumerism.

So if the mindset is changing, what else will change?  How will that affect the rest of my life and those around me?  I hope it leads to some of the following:

  • more space, not just physical but emotional.  We have all noticed how much nicer the house is with less stuff in it and there is a feeling of movement rather than blockage.
  • more time.  With less to look after and only the things we want to look after I hope we have more time for each other, for doing things we want to do rather than have to do.
  • less pointless decisions (this dress or those shoes for example).
  • opportunities for my daughters to see how a less materialistic life is not a less rich life.
  • questions, discussions and learning from each other.
  • less unnecessary expenditure.

I am coming to the end of the first week of my blog.  This time next year I hope I can look back and tick yes to the above.