You would have to be fully certified hermit not to know at least a couple of lines of “that” song from Frozen. Personally, I think “Would you like to build a snowman” is considerably more poignant and reminds me of “Slipping through my fingers” by Abba. Moments promised and lost forever.
However, this is not a maudlin blog. I am not one for living in the past!
But as hoarders, isn’t that just what we do? I was introduced to Thich Nhat Hanh some ten years ago. Today, at last, the concept of mindfulness is becoming more commonplace. From The Miracle of Mindfulness I moved on to many other books (list of links at the bottom of this post) and I have benefited hugely. I have long ago lost any need to bear a grudge, to cry over spilt milk or to worry about what if. I have let go of past hurts and forgiven those who hurt me. The last was the hardest.
I have kept a diary on and off since I was about 6. At today’s date that is 44 years of diary keeping. The early stuff is sweet. The teen years are embarrassing. The early twenties are painful. We have a lovely big wood burning stove. I took my diaries, took out the childhood ones, those of my year living in the Transkei and offered the rest to the fire.
Why? Because they were, for the most part, a cathartic exercise of a young woman who was hurt and upset. The act of writing them was helpful at the time but by keeping them I was holding on to that pain. Every time I went into the study I knew they were there. Remember Eyeore and the black rain cloud
That was how it felt.
So I burned them. And that rain cloud disappeared.
How many personal rain clouds are you hoarding?
Some books I have found helpful
- Timeless Simplicity by John Lane
- Anam Cara by John O’Donohue
- Finding Sanctuary by Abbot Christopher Jamison
- Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh
- Being Home by Gunilla Brodde Norris
7 thoughts on “let it go”
Six months ago I burnt all my diaries, including my childhood ones…decades of self angst and loathing up in smoke. Very satisfying and strangely liberating. I feel I’ve stopped carrying around all that rubbish from the past and really let go. Much lighter. So, your post really resonated with me today! Blessings, Andrea
So much lighter!
I did that too, a meter stack of diaries that only made me feel sad for how tortured I had been in the past. I never regretted it.
Though now I think of it, there were a couple of my rabbit’s toenails in one, sellotaped in when I was about ten, I miss that one. Lol.
Bet the rabbit does too!
Someone once told me, there is no past, only meaning we attach to memories. 🙂
P.S. I love Thich Nhat Hanh too! I frequently read and reread his book on fear, as well as “Radical Acceptance” by Tara Brach.
You know, I’d just been thinking I should revisit and eliminate some of my old diaries, too. And poems. Oh, the terrible teen angst love-sick poems….. I’m glad to hear this was such a good exercise for you. Thich Nhat Hanh changed my life. I suppose a lot of people could say that. He is pretty brilliant.